vietnam web, Danh ba web
  MAIN CATEGORY
Homepage
Main Directory
Government web
Top 1000 web
Image Directory
Best websites
Tourism company
Hotel Directory
Add your site
New websites
Vietnam map
Vietnam stories

           

  E-COMMERCE
SEO service
Trade leads
Vietnam company
Vietnam Stock
Gold - Forex
Provinces and cities
Website TMĐT

           

  RELAX & FUNNY
Miss Vietnam
Funny video
Funny picture
Vietnam TV chanel
Avatar - animation
Vietnam singers
Game flash
Wallpaper
Ebooks
Online music
Vietnam Fashion
Vietnam Teen 9x

           

  STUDY
Computer book
Story book
Other book
Historical
Acne treatment
Study abroad
Vietnam universities

           

Logo exchange





Bikini swimsuit
2006 photos

Old version

 Search website       

Top Vietnam Entertainment

Vietnam stories Vietnam poetry Vietnam Audio Vietnam festivals
Funny stories Vietnam photo Myths & legends Aodai Girls

See Vietnam TV channel online : VTV1 - VTV3 - VTV4 - VTC - HTV

 

Vietnam Funny story Collection

 

A good pupil

There was once a young, newly-wed couple. The young man was intelligent, but his wife was both clumsy and stupid. She rarely touched an object without damaging it.

One day, having bought two earthenware jars, she showed them to her husband, hoping he would be pleased with her for once in his life.

"This is a chance to teach her a lesson," the young man said to himself. "It's too bad for the new jars, but at least she will be cured of her habit of breaking things."

And right away, he gave the jars two good kicks which shattered them to smithereens.

"What have you done? Are you mad?" shouted his wife in bewilderment.

"I've smashed them to save you the trouble of breaking them later," retorted the husband.

Some time after that even, the husband told his wife to go to market to buy fish for supper.

Back from market, she showed her husband a live fish of the best kind. Then she went to the pond at the back of the house, and there she let it go.

"What have you done, you stupid woman?" shouted the husband angrily.

"Only what you taught me. I've released it to save you the trouble of freeing it later!"

A few days later, they received the news that an octogenarian relative, a retired mandarin whom they had not seen for a long time, would honour them with a visit.

"Do you know how you should talk to elderly and titled people, scatter-brain? " asked the husband.

"No, teach me," replied the wife.

"For such respectable old men, you must be polite. You speak only when they speak to you. If they ask about your family, you must also ask them news of theirs. In a word, you must return their courtesy and even outdo them. When our uncle comes. I'll pretend to be absent for a while, and will let you talk to him alone for haft an hour. But be careful, I'll hide behind the curtain and listen to every word you say."

The venerable visitor arrived. And here is the bout of politeness which took place between him and the young mistress of the house.

"I'm happy to see you, my dear nice! How you have grown in the years since I last saw you. I remember knowing you when you were very little, no taller than a boot."

"I'm very happy to see you too, great uncle. You have grown several feet since I last saw you. I remember knowing you as a little kid, when you were no taller than my knee."

"How are your grandparents? They were good friends of mine."

"They're very well, thank you. And by the way, how are your forbears? They were great childhood friends of mine."

Thinking that this hare-brained young woman was trying to make a fool of him, the old mandarin asked wrathfully"

"Where's your husband? Let me see him at once!"

"He's over there, behind the curtain. He's been listening to make sure I know how to talk to you as he advised me to."

 

Too much expensive food

A skinflint never gave his family anything to eat except plain rice. However, a wooden fish was hung over the dining table. Each time they had taken a mouthful of rice, the children were ordered to look at the fish and imagine that they had taken a bite of it. To maintain the illusion and show appreciation of the food, they were to make an audible chewing noise.

One day, the youngest child, aged four, absent-mindedly made a whole string of sucking and swallowing noises.

The miser blew his top.

"What!" he exclaimed.

"Didn't I tell you that just one bite of the fish is enough? Don't you realize how expensive meat and fish are these days?"

"Buffaloes" is a bull

The tutor of a family was very stupid. He didn't know many words and very often had to ask others about the words he was going to teach his pupils.

One day, the tutor taught his pupils the word "to flee". It was written in the old style so it consisted of three words "buffalo" placed on one another. The tutor didn't know it so he asked a man:

- What animal is as strong as three buffaloes, sir?

The man answered:

- A wild bull.

The tutor was very glad. He came back home and taught the pupils:

- "Buffaloes" is wild bull.

Another day, the tutor taught the pupils the word "nail". He knew how to read it but didn't know its meaning. He saw it looked like the handle of a rice-hulling mill so he carelessly said:

- "Nail" is the handle of a rice-hulling mill.

The host saw that the tutor was very stupid, so he asked the tutor out of his house, and read the following poem to see him off:

"Nail" is the handle of a rice-hulling mill.

What a good teacher I have never seen!

Ah, "buffaloes" is a wild bull

Please, go to ask a farmer's job to do!

A monochord's tunes

There was a man who played the monochord very badly but still thought that he played it very beautifully. His neighbour was a young widow.

One day, when he was playing the monochord, he heard the neighbour crying. He thought that she might be affected by his wonderful monochord's tunes. He checked the idea by stopping playing it. As a matter of the fact, the young widow stopped crying, too.

After that, the man also learnt that she cried every time he played the monochord. The harder he played, the harder she cried. He was very glad and thought that she was surely keen on his talent of monochord playing. From then on, he just played it during quite nights in order to seduce her.

One day, when he was sure that she had completely fallen in love with him, he said to her:

- What makes you so sad that you cry whenever I play the monochord? If my monochord playing troubles you, I'll stop it from now on.

The widow answered:

- Yes, it does. I recall my dead husband whenever you play the monochord.

The man was beside himself with joy and asked:

- Was he a good monochord playerr when he was alive?

The widow shook her head and answered:

- No, my dead husband knew how to card cotton only. I recall the sound from his cotton carding and cry whenever hearing your monochord's tunnes.

A glutton

Whenever that man took his meal, he at once picked up dishes, chewed and swallowed them all time and never took even a look at the people eating with him. His wife was very sad of his bad table manner. She offen told him to give it up but he couldn't.

One day, he and his wife came to his wife's parents to attend a feast. His wife was afraid that his bad table manner would make her ashamed with her parents and the guests there so she thought a way out.

According to the rural rules in the old time, the host meals with his guests first and his wife and children did in later. When the glutton attended the feast with his father-in-law and guests, his wife tied one end of a string to his toe and led the other end to the kitchen. She whispered to her husband:

- Remember to pick up the dishes just when I pull the string!

The man nodded. Surely, in the feast, he ate slowly because his wife in the kitchen sometimes pulled the string while doing the housework.

Whenever she paid much more attention to her work and forgot pulling the string, he just gazed at the dishes and didn't dare to pick a morsel. His father-in-law then had to help him to the food.

Suddenly, a hen ran across the string and got stuck there. It jerked unceasingly to get free but couldn't. In the house, the man thought his wife allowed him to eat as much as he could so he picked up the dishes continuously. At last, he felt the string was jerked so hard that he took the dishes up and shifted all their contents into his bowl!

A story told in its time order

That landlord was living in the countryside but his children and his wife were living in town.

Oneday, a servant in the landlord's farm came to see the lanlord's wife and children. The lady told him in and asked:

- Is everything in the farm all right? Does your boss give me any notice?

- No, madam, the servant answered, my boss doesn't give me any notice, but there has happened a queer event: His dog is dead!

- What a poor creature! But why did it die too early?

- Madam! It died of a fire beside the pig-sty!

- My God! And what about the pigs?

- They were also burnt to death and the cows and the horses were in the same lot!

- Dear me! But why did the fire happen? Did somebody set them on fire for his hatred of your boss?

- No, madam! It was just because of some ashes' flying from the house!

- What? Even the house was on fire, wasn't it?

- Yes, madam!

- But, why?

The servant scratched his head and his ears for a long time and then answered:

- Madam! Because yesterday some robbers rushed into the house and then they set it on fire!

- Did they take anything away?

- Yes, they took away everything and even killed people!

- Oh, dear! What about my husband?

- Madam! They stabbed him with a sharp knife and he died at once!
 

Three idiotic generations

The members of that family were very idiotic. One day, the grandfather told his grandson to take two coins and two bowls to the market to buy fish sauce and soya sauce. The little boy went off for a long time and then came back and asked his grandfather:

- My granddad, which coin is for fish sauce and which coin is for soya sauce?

The old man got angry and shouted:

- What a nonsense! You can buy fish sauce and soya sauce with either of them.

The little boy went off for a long time and then came back again. He showed the two bowls out and asked:

- My granddad, but which bowl will contain fish sauce and which bowl will contain soya sauce?

The old man flew into a passion and gave his grandson some whips.

At the moment, the little boy's father got home. Seeing his father beating his son, he got angry and said:

- Ah, you are beating my son! Then I'll beat yours!

And then he took the whip and beat himself fiercely.

The old man also got angry. He pointed to his son's face and said:

- Well, you dare beat my son then what can stop me hanging your father?

And then, he looked for a rope to hang himself.

VIETNAM DIR

MISS VIETNAM


thiet ke web


 

    Copyright © Hanoi Capital 8 Vietnam Link Media JSC 2000-2007
VINALINK  -
ư: 20/33 Ta Quang Buu - Ha Noi., ': (844).8684558/ 8684559